Where Did January Go?

I can't believe January 2012 is three/quarters the way through and I am still trying to get myself organized for the new year.  The key word here is "trying".  However, I have a feeling I'm not alone in the fantasy of resolutions vs. the reality of execution conundrums.

A fellow blogger came up with a ingenious idea (an idea he got from another blogger - we bloggers stick together).  He did not start his new resolutions January 1 but rather will be starting February 1, 2012.  The reasoning is quite rational.  There is much too much chaos in the merry month of December.  We all need a month to cool down and reflect before jumping head long into the stress of change.

I now wish I had adopted this idea myself. 

Would it have made a difference?  After spending some time reflecting on what I have accomplished in the last three weeks I think not. 

Have I accomplished all that much?

No, but I fear I would not have accomplished any more if I had waited.  The journey begins with the first step not at a given time. 

I have begun exercising again.  Not as strenuous as my goal stated.  I have plenty of excuses and trust me, I have used them all.  Still I have taken that first step.

I have lost five pounds.  Not a lot of weight but then I have not starved myself either.  I have simply been cutting out the excessive carbs I had been devouring and substituting them with fruits and vegetables.

I have not gotten much further on my book.  This one is a real struggle for me.  Still I haven't given up.  I realize the process is slow but I will prevail.

My house is looking better as I work on my organizational skills.  I have taken two bags of items to Goodwill since the beginning of the year and there will be many more following them.

Good thing 2012 consists of twelve months not one.  I still have lots of time to get my act together. 

I think I'll put on my exercise clothes on and get started on one of those goals right now.  How about you?

Out Of Sorts Lou

For the last week I have been out of sorts.  I seldom am irritable and usually very easy to get along with, yet as I was preparing for my weekend with Darrell I became agitated and downright ornery.  By the time I arrived at his house I had cussed a fellow driver and was in a mood to start an argument.  So unlike me. 

As I walked into Darrell's home I announced in no uncertain terms that I was in a mood and could not guarantee the evening would run smoothly.  Darrell proceeded to hold me and pet me as if I were his pet puppy.  That's right.  It didn't help but since I was trained to always act the part of a lady, I behaved.

The weekend did go well.  We spent much of our time with friends and I stayed busy.

Stay Busy!  That seems to be the clue to my irritability.  Since I received my kindle (of which I love dearly) I have done nothing much at all except read.

No Creativity!

Creativity takes many forms for me (writing, crafting, painting, devising clever ways to avoid housework - my personal favorite) so it is really quite easy for me to get a quick infusion of pleasure when I indulge myself in a creative activity.  Creating gives me a quick and magical high.

So if I enjoy it so much, why haven't I been playing?

New year's resolutions and my new kindle.

Once again it comes back to choices.

I choose to continue to work on my goals.

I choose not to be a grumpy old woman.

Therefore, I will read less and use that extra time to work on my art journal which I have not touched for months.

Win win solution.  I think this is going to work.

The Buck

The Buck!  No, not the buck stops here or any other clever cliche".  Just the buck! 

Monday Darrell and I went for a hike through the woods at Cahokia Mounds hoping to see some deer.  We had walked a couple of miles and found no wildlife at all.  Nothing but mud left behind after the snow melted.  Yuk!  My shoes were heavy, caked with mud and grass.

As we were heading back down the path toward the truck in the distance I finally saw what we had come for.  No, I take that back, this was not just a deer.  This was one of God's most beautiful creations.  There on the path stood a buck probably 200 pounds with a spectacular rack, his head cocked listening for my footsteps.  I knew I should remain perfectly still but excitement over took reasoning and out of my mouth spewed  "Look - look--look!  He was so magnificent, so grand, that is all my feeble mind could come up with.

Of, course, that is all she wrote.  One brief second he stood there in all his glory and then he was gone.  Still the image remains with me vividly.

Now I am back in my little magic cottage fully engaged in plans for 2012 with dates penciled in for travel and new adventures.  A trip overseas to Spain, white water rafting, checking out the light houses along the Atlantic Ocean, and hiking through the Smokies. 

Yet, right now I just want to explore the beauty and wonder of the gifts God has given us.  Those things that cost little financially.  God only asks us to slow down, open our eyes and breath deeply.  I need to be reminded of that often.  Perhaps now would be a good time to start that Gratitude Journal.

We Have A Choice

I am reading Mark Twain's A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court.  Our hero in this tale is a time traveler, not by choice but rather by accident.  He is a rough and tumble American lad who enjoys a good fight now and then until he is knocked unconscious by a big mule of a man and wakes up in the year of our Lord 528 in Britain.

I have read other works by Twain years ago and only remembered his stories as amusing.  I had forgotten that he was not only a humorist but also a political activist.  Yes, I am enjoying the delightful tale of life in the sixth century but I am also intrigued by this man's political views.  Keep in mind that Mark Twain was born in the year 1889 so his political views are different from ours yet still not so different.

Mark Twain writes his story during a time of servitude in Britain where there were two classes of people, the very rich and the very, very poor.  The rich lived off the food and services provided by the poor.  The poor survived  (just barely) off the dirges the rich did not consume.

I can't help but notice some similarities to modern day U.S.A.  We have three classes here.  The very rich, middle class and poverty.  However, we have one very big difference.  The poor in Twain's tale had no choice.  They either lived to serve the rich or they died.  That simple.  We have a choice.

So why are there so many poor people here in this great country?  Partly because there is so much greed by the rich but could there be another reason.? 

Fear?  Fear of change? 

Risk?  Fear of risk? 

I don't know the answer but I think this country is still the best place to be in 2012. 

Twain's hero refuses to sit around on his rump and watch the rich enjoy their spoils although he has the opportunity to do just that.  Instead he takes his knowledge gained from living in America during the early nineteenth century to improve the lot of the impoverished Brits.

We have choices to make everyday.  We can choose to ignore them and sit on our rumps and let whatever follow by doing nothing or we can make a choice.  I choose to make my own decision. 

How about you?

Burn Out Already?

Here it is, the second week of January 2012 and I'm already feeling some goal burn out, dream burn out.

I've found myself feeling peevish like a spoiled teenager wanting to pout and tell everyone to get off my cloud, out of my space.

So what happened to my determination for achieving the best year of my life?  Simple, I have asked too much of myself. 

Or have I?  Is is just my concept of what too much is?

"The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another, and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it."  James M. Barrie

I humbly ask for you patience and forgiveness.  I will now get out of my own way and back to creating the life I was meant to live.

I'm No One Special

After writing my blog yesterday I started doubting myself.  That little voice in my head can be such a downer. 

You know the one.

The one who says "Who do you think you are?" 

"You are such a dip!"

"I'm no one special, who do I think I am that I can make a difference?"

Since when do we need to be someone special to serve?  I am my number one critic.  It is time to get out from under that basket I've been hiding under.

I WILL NOT HIDE!
I WILL NOT COLLAPSE!
I WILL NOT GIVE IN TO MY INNER CRITIC!

"I am only one, but still I am one.  I cannot do everything, but still I can do something, and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to so something I can do."  This quote comes from a deaf and blind woman born June 27, 1880, Helen Keller.  Back then we did not have all the government agencies to help the disabled.  She did not let her disabilities stop her from being the person she was meant to be.  Helen Keller was an author, political activist and lecturer.  She was the first deaf blind woman to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree.

What disabilities do I have?  None worth mentioning.  I so what is my excuse?

Oops, I guess that says it all.  All I have are excuses.  No more excuses.  Get up and get moving.  There has got to be something I can do to serve.  Guess I had better contact Dave Barnes.

My Kindle

Darrell, bless his little pea pickin' heart, gave me a kindle for Christmas.  All my friends and family know how much I love to read so they also know this is the most incredible gift I could receive. 

I had been throwing the idea around for sometime and almost bought one myself but something kept holding me back. You see, I love my books.  They aren't inanimate objects to me.  They are my friends, I flip through the pages tenderly and caress them like a lover.  I was having difficulty seeing that same relationship with a hunk of plastic.

I have finished my first book on the kindle and have started two more.  (Yes two, one for research and the other for pleasure.) 

I have found I do miss the smell and touch of a real book but there are advantages of the kindle.  If I decide I want to read a book I do not own I no longer have to run to the mall or get on the computer to order the book then wait for its delivery.  I can order the book through my kindle and have it in mere seconds.  AMAZING!  Plus kindle has over 7,000 free books.  Most of them are the classics.  I had already decided to start reading the classics just to find out what has made them so special for all these years. Now I can make this discovery for free.

I just finished reading The Secret Garden by Frances Halcyon Burnett (a classic) and have started reading Alice In Wonderland (another classic) both free.  Next I plan to read JRR Tolkien trilogy The Lord of the Ring.  I am told that will take quite a while to read.

Here are a few other books on my wish list.. Most of them I can get free.  Hooray for free!

The Time Travelers Wife - Audrey Neffenegger
Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
To Kill A Mockingbird -  Harper Lee
Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
Chronicles of Narnia -C.S. Lewis
The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
The Wizard of Oz - Frank Baum
Anne of Green Gables - L.M. Montgomery
Notes from a Small Island - Bill Bryson
The Inferno - Dante
Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
The Three Musketeers - Abercandre Dumas
The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint Exupery
Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand
The Count of Monte Carlo - Alexandra Dumas
The Kite Runner - Khalid Hosseni
A Connecticut Yankee in King Author's Court - Mark Twain
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Eyre

That should keep me busy for a while.  Happy Reading!