I will dance naked

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life up until this point.  I do that when I am reading books by Kris Radish.  I just finished reading Dancing Naked at the Edge of Dawn.  Kris believes every woman has the potential of being the heroine of her own story.  Sometimes I feel like I can be one of those brave women who dare to say "No":  No to conventioanl and boring, no to fears of being alone, no to the deep fears of not being good enough.  A woman who can say yes to adventure and fun.  Those of you who have known me for only a short time are wondering what the hell I'm talking about.  Isn't this the woman who lived with a man unwed for 17 years, a woman who went sky diving and participated in a mud run?  Yes, but these are all new to me.  Up until I divorced I was the perfect daughter, wife and mother.  As my mother put it, I wouldn't say "shit" if I had a mouth full.  Occassionally I feel the strong bonds that held me so tight for so many years.  I then want to fight and scream and run naked in the streets.  I will never go back to being that subversive insecure little girl. This is my time, my life, my moment of truth.

I will
dance naked
when I first
learn
to walk ....
and there
will be
a rainbow of light
colors
to blind
the binding minds
the closed hearts
of the men and women
who said
"never"
I will not
simply walk
but
fly
with wings of gold
woman
warrior
feeling with a heart
the fineness of the journey
and dancing naked
at the edge of dawn
is the gate
that moves my soul
into the endless
remain
of possibility

poem by Chesnay Susan Thomas from: Passing the Light - Women in Transition 1968