Why is it that some people are able to look fear in the face and laugh loud and hardy while others hide under the bed hoping no one will come looking for them? Unfortunately I am the cowering dog with her tail tucked between her legs. Oh, I talk a good talk, but the truth is that I am afraid of my own shadow.
This week has been a tough one for me and I am sure for millions of other people as the stock market crashed once again. As I was preparing to retire back in 2008 the stock market crashed and I lost three fourths of my savings. Since then the stock market has been on a roller coaster ride with me hanging on for dear life. All my dreams being thrown out of the car one by one as the DOW nose dived again and again.
Normally I become depressed when the rug is pulled out from under me but not this time. This time I am mad. How much more can the people of this great nation take while the politicians play with the financial future of the Baby Boomers? We Baby Boomers don't have time to save for our old age. Our time is here.
A friend of mine dated a U.S. Congressman for a short time. He bragged about his trips to Martha's Vineyard to get away from the stress of his duties. Is that what he is doing right now when the nation's taxpayers are in shock once again because their life savings are vanishing? Did the taxpayers once again pay for him to take a private jet for a little get away? The stock market crashed just as Congress was scheduled to go on a five week leave. (Paid for by us, the taxpayer.) Even our illustrious president took leave. Did they cancel their vacation plans? No.
Perhaps it doesn't really matter if they are lying in the sun soaking up the rays while the hard working American taxpayer is having a nervous breakdown. The Republicans would be pointing their fingers at the Democrats and the Democrats would be pointing their fingers at the Republicans. Guess what? We are well past blaming. It is time to take action. It is time to tighten our belts and I don't mean the American taxpayer. The taxpayer is nothing but skin and bones. Financially we look like the starving children we see pictures of in third world countries. The American taxpayer is being forced to get his priorities straight. If we can, so can Congress and if they can't then it is high time we elected someone who can.
Observations from a scatterbrained, unorganized, extremely messy,romantic, chai tea drinking, mad hattering, work in progress with an obscenely large lust for life.
Scathenly Brilliant Ideas
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
The Final Harry Potter Movie
This week I went to the theater and saw the final Harry Potter movie. Darrell is trying very hard to be my knight in shining armour and volunteered to take me. He took me to see the first half of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows movie when we started dating a year ago. That is when I discovered he knew absolutely nothing about Harry Potter. The poor man was lost from the very first scene. I did not have the heart to put him through two hours of confused boredom so I went alone. Truth be known a part of me wanted to go alone anyway. I had read the book and wept when some of my favorite characters were killed. I prefer crying alone, especially when crying over ficticius characters. For this reason I had considered waiting for the movie to come out on DVD and view it privately where my tears could flow freely. OK, I'm a big sentimental sap.
The final movie was true to the book as best it could be in the time alloted. After all, the book was 759 pages of supernatural thrills. There was simply too much detail to put in two movies but I must say the movie directors certainly put forth a great effort. The final confrontation between Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived and Lord Voldemort the evil wizard who wished to rule the world was everything we love about the big screen. Lots of heart racing, bone chilling drama.
Yes I loved every minute of it. There was only one little bitty tiny disappointing moment in the movie for me and it probably didn't bother anyone else. I personally felt a little more time could have been spent explaining the actions of my favorite character, Professor Snape. The movie did an adequate job but I love the acting of Alan Rickman. I think he is the very best villain Hollywood has. He is the villain in the Robin Hood movie that stars Kevin Costner. I have the movie on video and love to watch only the scenes Alan Rickman is in. I prefer those scenes even over the naked butt of Kevin Costner when he is bathing by the waterfall.
I have considered going back to see the movie again but I'll probably just wait for it to come out on DVD. I wonder if there is a Alan Rickman fan club. I'm going to have to check that out. If you haven't seen that particular Robin Hood movie, you really should check it out. Alan Rickman is great!
The final movie was true to the book as best it could be in the time alloted. After all, the book was 759 pages of supernatural thrills. There was simply too much detail to put in two movies but I must say the movie directors certainly put forth a great effort. The final confrontation between Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived and Lord Voldemort the evil wizard who wished to rule the world was everything we love about the big screen. Lots of heart racing, bone chilling drama.
Yes I loved every minute of it. There was only one little bitty tiny disappointing moment in the movie for me and it probably didn't bother anyone else. I personally felt a little more time could have been spent explaining the actions of my favorite character, Professor Snape. The movie did an adequate job but I love the acting of Alan Rickman. I think he is the very best villain Hollywood has. He is the villain in the Robin Hood movie that stars Kevin Costner. I have the movie on video and love to watch only the scenes Alan Rickman is in. I prefer those scenes even over the naked butt of Kevin Costner when he is bathing by the waterfall.
I have considered going back to see the movie again but I'll probably just wait for it to come out on DVD. I wonder if there is a Alan Rickman fan club. I'm going to have to check that out. If you haven't seen that particular Robin Hood movie, you really should check it out. Alan Rickman is great!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Bad Dream
I have both read and heard that people should keep a pen and paper on their night stand so that they can jot down the details of a dream when they awaken and the dream is still fresh in their mind. Seldom have I remembered a dream long enough to write down. Not so this morning, perhaps because it upset me so badly.
I dreamt that my beloved Les ran off and married my twin sister. What would make me dream something like that? Sue and Vic were married by the time I met Les. The dream was so real I wanted to cry and scratch Sue's eyes out. Actually I did cry and scratch her face in my dream. Why did I want to hurt Sue? Les was the one who hurt my pride by not wanting to marry me?
A friend once told me I have a lot of unresolved issues. She was right as much as I hate to admit it. I have always avoided confrontations like the plague, a trait I was taught at my mother's knee. My mother, a God fearing woman, stressed to me on a regular basis the importance of forgiveness, co-operation, compromise, and never ever under any circumstance does a lady lose her temper. From this I learned my opinions do not matter if it is different from someone else's or maybe a better way to put it, "lay down Louise so that I can walk all over you". My friend recommended I read a book about facing unresolved issues once and for all, a book I can no longer remember the name or author. I did try to purchase it at Borders but it was no longer in print.
I suppose this dream will haunt me today with questions. Questions I do not know the answers to. Was this dream brought on by low self esteem because of my guilt of living with a man for so many years? A man who I loved whole heartily but who refused to marry me. Do I hold resentment towards Sue from something that happened year's ago? Sometimes being a twin can be difficult. Or perhaps it has nothing to do with them at all.
A friend once told me I have a lot of unresolved issues. She was right as much as I hate to admit it. I have always avoided confrontations like the plague, a trait I was taught at my mother's knee. My mother, a God fearing woman, stressed to me on a regular basis the importance of forgiveness, co-operation, compromise, and never ever under any circumstance does a lady lose her temper. From this I learned my opinions do not matter if it is different from someone else's or maybe a better way to put it, "lay down Louise so that I can walk all over you". My friend recommended I read a book about facing unresolved issues once and for all, a book I can no longer remember the name or author. I did try to purchase it at Borders but it was no longer in print.
I suppose this dream will haunt me today with questions. Questions I do not know the answers to. Was this dream brought on by low self esteem because of my guilt of living with a man for so many years? A man who I loved whole heartily but who refused to marry me. Do I hold resentment towards Sue from something that happened year's ago? Sometimes being a twin can be difficult. Or perhaps it has nothing to do with them at all.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Big Brothers Big Sisters
For the past 8 years I have worked with Big Brothers Big Sisters, an organization sset up to mentor children whose family for one reason or another are unable to give them the guidance needed to become responsible adults. Perfect spot for me since my father drilled the word responsibility into my head. If you look very closely you will see the hole, I kid you not.
My Little (as these children are called) was a sweet little 10 year old who at the age of 2 was set on fire by her father and later abused by her step father. I always had to remind myself that this family was terribly dysfunctional so I don't know how factual the information I received was however she is covered with scars of 60% of her body. From what I saw I think 80% would be more accurate. She had had 11 surgeries by the time I met her. Her stomach and back looked like the skin of a reptile and she wore a wig because hair doesn't grow on scar tissue. Through all of this, she remained a sweet little girl who just wanted to be accepted by her peers like other little girls.
Big Brothers Big Sisters do all they can to help the child feel safe and secure with their appointed mentor so our first year together was only during the school year. We met during her lunch period. We ate lunch together then hung out. some days we played outside on the playgroud but most days I had planned crafts or games to entertain her. Those activities gave us a chance to get to know each other and to build trust. By the second year I wondered if I was really making a difference in this child's life. I was considering quitting. I had only discussed this with a friend but as we all know God works in strange ways and must have been listening. One day the child's teacher stopped me as I was bringing my Little back to her class room. She wanted me to know what a difference there was in this little girl the days she knew I would be there. On those days she was not sullen and withdrawn. She was bright and happy. She thanked me for my efforts. I couldn't thank her enough for telling me. Now I knew, I wouldn't be able to make a big difference because I was with her for such a short time but I was able to put a little sunshine in a little girl's sad life.
Initially when I was interviewed by Big Brothers Big Sisters my goal was just to get one person off welfare. I learned so much from this child. I was raised in a traditional Amrican family. My mother was a stay at home Mom who slaved all day and into the night to take care ofmy 5 siblings and me while my father worked to keep a roof over our heads and food in our tummies. I thought we were poor. I was so wrong. I do believe my Little's mother tried but was incapable and ill equipped to much better at nurturing her children.
My Little is now 18 and on her own. Was I able to make a difference? I don't know but what I do know is that her little sister was 14 when she first became an unwed mother. A year later she had her second baby. My Little stayed in high school, stayed off drugs and has an inplant so that she will not become pregnant for the next 5 years. Will she be a model citizen? Only time will tell. I've learned to be thankful for little successes.
My Little (as these children are called) was a sweet little 10 year old who at the age of 2 was set on fire by her father and later abused by her step father. I always had to remind myself that this family was terribly dysfunctional so I don't know how factual the information I received was however she is covered with scars of 60% of her body. From what I saw I think 80% would be more accurate. She had had 11 surgeries by the time I met her. Her stomach and back looked like the skin of a reptile and she wore a wig because hair doesn't grow on scar tissue. Through all of this, she remained a sweet little girl who just wanted to be accepted by her peers like other little girls.
Big Brothers Big Sisters do all they can to help the child feel safe and secure with their appointed mentor so our first year together was only during the school year. We met during her lunch period. We ate lunch together then hung out. some days we played outside on the playgroud but most days I had planned crafts or games to entertain her. Those activities gave us a chance to get to know each other and to build trust. By the second year I wondered if I was really making a difference in this child's life. I was considering quitting. I had only discussed this with a friend but as we all know God works in strange ways and must have been listening. One day the child's teacher stopped me as I was bringing my Little back to her class room. She wanted me to know what a difference there was in this little girl the days she knew I would be there. On those days she was not sullen and withdrawn. She was bright and happy. She thanked me for my efforts. I couldn't thank her enough for telling me. Now I knew, I wouldn't be able to make a big difference because I was with her for such a short time but I was able to put a little sunshine in a little girl's sad life.
Initially when I was interviewed by Big Brothers Big Sisters my goal was just to get one person off welfare. I learned so much from this child. I was raised in a traditional Amrican family. My mother was a stay at home Mom who slaved all day and into the night to take care ofmy 5 siblings and me while my father worked to keep a roof over our heads and food in our tummies. I thought we were poor. I was so wrong. I do believe my Little's mother tried but was incapable and ill equipped to much better at nurturing her children.
My Little is now 18 and on her own. Was I able to make a difference? I don't know but what I do know is that her little sister was 14 when she first became an unwed mother. A year later she had her second baby. My Little stayed in high school, stayed off drugs and has an inplant so that she will not become pregnant for the next 5 years. Will she be a model citizen? Only time will tell. I've learned to be thankful for little successes.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Summer Rain
Temperatures rising
90, 92, 96
a sweltering 98 degrees
midday
yet the streets are barren
who dares
venture out of the A/C?
Suddenly
a crack of thunder
clouds open
releasing cool
refreshing
summer rain.
I run out into the street
rejoicing
singing
playing
wondrous rain soaking
my hair
my face
my clothes
clinging to my wet body.
Thank you, oh Great One
for life saving rain.
![]()
This piece was done with a soft water color base and then drawings were done in gel pens.
90, 92, 96
a sweltering 98 degrees
midday
yet the streets are barren
who dares
venture out of the A/C?
Suddenly
a crack of thunder
clouds open
releasing cool
refreshing
summer rain.
I run out into the street
rejoicing
singing
playing
wondrous rain soaking
my hair
my face
my clothes
clinging to my wet body.
Thank you, oh Great One
for life saving rain.
This piece was done with a soft water color base and then drawings were done in gel pens.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
I will dance naked
I will
dance naked
when I first
learn
to walk ....
and there
will be
a rainbow of light
colors
to blind
the binding minds
the closed hearts
of the men and women
who said
"never"
I will not
simply walk
but
fly
with wings of gold
woman
warrior
feeling with a heart
the fineness of the journey
and dancing naked
at the edge of dawn
is the gate
that moves my soul
into the endless
remain
of possibility
poem by Chesnay Susan Thomas from: Passing the Light - Women in Transition 1968
Fireworks under the Arch
Wow, what an incredible evening!!!! I have lived in Granite City over 50 years and tonight was my first time to actually go to the St. Louis Independence Day Fireworks Show. For years I've tried to get the men in my life to take me but it was always the same; they were saying too much traffic, too many people, too much noise, blah, blah, blah. While I was thinking, yes, wonderful sounds, smells and sights. What a terrific chance to watch people, listen to free live music and be so close that I can smell the explosive powder as the fire works explode in glorious colors.
Hooray, Darrell ask me to go before I had a chance to do my usual begging. He even thanked me because he loves to go and couldn't find anyone to go with him.
All of my senses were going haywire as I walked from the Metro Link toward the sea of humanity. Thousands and thousands of people pressed up against me, walking toward our destination, the stage set up under the St. Louis Arch where Jimmy Gentry and his band were singing country western songs about this great land that I am so fortunate to live in. Everywhere I looked there was another interesting person. My head was swiveling all around trying to take everything in. One woman had seven small children holding hands like a long chain telling them to never let go. A group of young black boys, shirtless, laughing and pushing each other playfully. Small children looking up at me with big eyes, both scared and excited at the same time. A woman with the brightest apple red hair I have ever seen in a skin tight rainbow colored dress and gold stilettos. I swear, when I first saw her from a distance, I thought she was a clown - Wrong!. Big beer bellies hanging naked over droopy shorts. Bodies covered in exotic tattoos. Black, white, Asian and Latino were all represented there. What a wonderful country with so much diversity.
By 9 PM. the tension was getting thick. Everyone was anxious to witness St. Louis' tribute to this great nation's independence, the fireworks spectacular. Finally at 9:20 P.M. we heard the first crack and saw a shooting light lift off from the barge positioned in the middle of the Mississippi River. All eyes follow the light upward and yelled as the first rocket exploded into a shower of red, green and silver stars that fell gracefully back down to us. The rockets continued for 20 to 30 minutes. 20 to 30 minutes of ecstasy. We were so close I could feel the explosion in my chest and then I felt as if the colors were coming down to wrap themselves around me like my grandmother's old patch work quilt, safe, warm and oh so happy. I looked up at Darrell and with my eyes told him thank you. Thank you for yet another wonderful experience. Why did I wait so long? No longer will I wait. If no one is willing to get out and experience all life has to offer I will do it alone. What have I got to fear?
Hooray, Darrell ask me to go before I had a chance to do my usual begging. He even thanked me because he loves to go and couldn't find anyone to go with him.
All of my senses were going haywire as I walked from the Metro Link toward the sea of humanity. Thousands and thousands of people pressed up against me, walking toward our destination, the stage set up under the St. Louis Arch where Jimmy Gentry and his band were singing country western songs about this great land that I am so fortunate to live in. Everywhere I looked there was another interesting person. My head was swiveling all around trying to take everything in. One woman had seven small children holding hands like a long chain telling them to never let go. A group of young black boys, shirtless, laughing and pushing each other playfully. Small children looking up at me with big eyes, both scared and excited at the same time. A woman with the brightest apple red hair I have ever seen in a skin tight rainbow colored dress and gold stilettos. I swear, when I first saw her from a distance, I thought she was a clown - Wrong!. Big beer bellies hanging naked over droopy shorts. Bodies covered in exotic tattoos. Black, white, Asian and Latino were all represented there. What a wonderful country with so much diversity.
By 9 PM. the tension was getting thick. Everyone was anxious to witness St. Louis' tribute to this great nation's independence, the fireworks spectacular. Finally at 9:20 P.M. we heard the first crack and saw a shooting light lift off from the barge positioned in the middle of the Mississippi River. All eyes follow the light upward and yelled as the first rocket exploded into a shower of red, green and silver stars that fell gracefully back down to us. The rockets continued for 20 to 30 minutes. 20 to 30 minutes of ecstasy. We were so close I could feel the explosion in my chest and then I felt as if the colors were coming down to wrap themselves around me like my grandmother's old patch work quilt, safe, warm and oh so happy. I looked up at Darrell and with my eyes told him thank you. Thank you for yet another wonderful experience. Why did I wait so long? No longer will I wait. If no one is willing to get out and experience all life has to offer I will do it alone. What have I got to fear?
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