Bad Dream

I have both read and heard that people should keep a pen and paper on their night stand so that they can jot down the details of a dream when they awaken and the dream is still fresh in their mind.  Seldom have I remembered a dream long enough to write down.  Not so this morning, perhaps because it upset me so badly. 

I dreamt that my beloved Les ran off and married my twin sister.  What would make me dream something like that?  Sue and Vic were married by the time I met Les.  The dream was so real I wanted to cry and scratch Sue's eyes out.  Actually I did cry and scratch her face in my dream.  Why did I want to hurt Sue?  Les was the one who hurt my pride by not wanting to marry me?

A friend once told me I have a lot of unresolved issues.  She was right as much as I hate to admit it.  I have always avoided confrontations like the plague, a trait I was taught at my mother's knee.  My mother, a God fearing woman, stressed to me on a regular basis the importance of forgiveness, co-operation, compromise, and never ever under any circumstance does a lady lose her temper.  From this I learned my opinions do not matter if it is different from someone else's or maybe a better way to put it, "lay down Louise so that I can walk all over you".  My friend recommended I read a book about facing unresolved issues once and for all, a book I can no longer remember the name or author.  I did try to purchase it at Borders but it was no longer in print.

I suppose this dream will haunt me today with questions.  Questions I do not know the answers to.  Was this dream brought on by low self esteem because of my guilt of living with a man for so many years?  A man who I loved whole heartily but who refused to marry me.  Do I hold resentment towards Sue from something that happened year's ago?  Sometimes being a twin can be difficult.  Or perhaps it has nothing to do with them at all.