Rule No. 1. RESPONSIBILTY

My parents were wonderful nurturing parents with lots of rules that they insisted their children follow.  Five of their six children were pretty good at following the rules, with only an occasional misdemeanor to disrupt the household.  By the time Baby came along my mother, the master of the house, was very ill and no longer had the endurance to keep a heavy hand on Baby Dearest.

One of the rules we learned at an early age was each of us was responsible for our own actions and our lives.  From this rule we learned to be totally independent, do everything ourselves, not to need anybody. 

In the last couple of years I have been discovering the error in this type of thinking.  In the film classic, Funny Girl, Barbra Streisand sings "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world."  Bob Merrill just may have hit on something when he wrote this song.

Two years ago when Les passed away I moved into my little dilapidated house determined to fix it up and make it livable once again.  Yes, I could have done it over time by myself but truthfully my state of mind was really dark back then and without the help of my friends and family who knows how long it would have taken me to turn the little house into my Magic Cottage.

I still have that old mind set thinking I must prove to the world that I am strong and can live alone. 

Who do I think I am fooling?  I do not want to be a bother to people but I realize how lucky I am to have wonderful people in my life; people who want to be a part of my life,not just the good times but also the bad and who want to help make my life more comfortable. 

I am also realizing that people really do need people.  When we ask someone to help us it gives them a reason to feel good about themselves.  Basically people are good and generous.  They take great pleasure in doing for others.  I had it all wrong.  I was not taking advantage of friends and family.  Rather I was taking from them an opportunity to feel needed which gives them a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

My grandfather died a broken man.  Why, because he felt he was no longer needed.  He felt he was simply a burden on others, a waste of space.  My father is beginning to see himself that way.  It is important that I encourage him to tell his stories, to visit his friends and to participate as a veteran in parades and at other veterans funerals..

So I am now looking at the word "responsibility" differently than I ever have in my life.  My responsibility is not just to myself, it is to others.  I am not a believer of the Welfare System.  I still believe we all must be responsible for ourselves but we are in this mess together.  Together is the key word here.  Together with love all things are possible.