Senior Sexuality

When I was growing up sex was one of those unmentionable topics.  Mom did venture to explain "the facts of life" to Sue and me when we were 11 or 12.  Mom summoned my sister and I into the tiny bathroom, closed and locked the door, sat down on the toilet seat and began telling us stories about putting things up inside of us, saving ourselves for the right man because no decent man would marry a girl if her cherry had been popped before marriage and he would know.  I don't know how some man would know when Sue and I had no idea where "inside" was or what this "cherry" was that was going to be popped.  Anyway, how do you "pop a cherry"? She then handed us a beginner's menstruation kit and showed us how to use it.  We left the bathroom in a daze yet feeling somehow special because we had monopolized the small bathroom with our mother for this special talk.  I don't remember Mom acting as if she was being rushed but then perhaps she was because my brother was beating on the door saying he had to go.  Rushed or not, Sue and I didn't quite get the gist of the topic until years later when we had boyfriends who got a little too friendly.

After Les died I had resigned myself to the notion that I would never have a sexual partner again.  After all I was 59 years old.  I hadn't even considered dating again.  Who would be interested in a middle aged woman rapidly approaching the senior citizen status?  I have been blessed with many wonderful girlfriends and I thought they could fill the void left in my life when Les died.  Yet I had been noticing that I was missing male contact.

Then I got the phone call.  A man wanting to take me out to dinner.  He had been a friend of Les' and I had met him a couple of times when we were out to dinner.  He seemed like a nice man so why not give it a try.  We dated several times and always had a good time but after each date he would try to kiss me.  I just wasn't ready for intimacy and I was scared.  Then one evening we were watching an old western on television at his house and he kissed me.  I found myself responding in ways I thought would never happen again.  Poor man, I don't believe he was prepared for the sex starved woman to attack him.  My actions actually surprised me.  Wow, my life was not over after all.

I remember my mother telling me a story about my father beckoning to her for a little afternoon delight shortly before she died.  (My mother was 57 when she passed away)  I was surprised because my father always seemed like such a prude. 

At one of my nephew's wedding reception I overheard the young bride say to a friend "do you think his parent's still do it?"  My brother and sister-in-law were not quite 40 at the time.  I found it amusing to think this young woman thought intimacy ended once a couple were no longer at the child bearing age.

My father told me stories about his grandfather's adventures in the nursing home where he resided until his death at the ripe old age of 90.  It seems Great Grandpa was quite a ladies man.  One of his favorite past times was flirting with the female residents.  The ladies took his attention quite seriously and many a fight broke out between his suitors over who his true affections belonged to.

I find it reassuring to know that there can be intimacy between consenting adults in the golden years of life.  As human beings we live through so much tragedy, especially as we approach our golden years.  This world is a wild and woolly place and you'd have to be slightly crazy not to be occasionally afraid.  I have been told I am crazy quite often but I am sane enough to get afraid of what my future holds.  How nice to know that we can go through life's storms holding the hand of someone who cares for us no matter how old we are.