Fear

Why do we fear to live our lives wholly?  Why do we fear so many things?  Ralph Waldo Emerson puts it this way, "We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death and afraid of each other.  Our age yields no great and perfect person."

I am not wealthy and never have been.  I realize money could make my life a whole lot easier yet I seem to run from opportunities to receive wealth.  When I was first divorced I had several men pursuing me.  A couple of these suitors were well to do.  One man in particular owned his very successful business and was so enamored with me that he wrote poetry to me about how his life had changed since I had started to see him.  He would have bought me anything.  All I had to do is ask but instead I threw all the fancy cars, expensive restaurants and night clubs away for love.  Silly me.  Now I am old and gray (under the red dye) and my lover has been dead for two years. 

But I digress.  Back to the subject of fear.  Today I realized I have been living in fear for the past month.  Every since the stock market crashed once again.  The fear of being penniless is driving me to distraction.  I'm afraid to live my life wholly.  I am afraid I may spend more than I can afford.  My imagination has gone hay wired.

I resolve to change that here and now.  I will live the life I want.  A life full of laughter, of people I love both friends and family, of kindness and generosity.  The clock is ticking.  It is never too late as long as there is still breath in my lungs.  This is an invitation to all my friends and family to come join me in a life well lived until that last breath.