I'm in a Rut

Once again I seem to be in a rut.

Same old routines
.
Same old patterns.

Same old habits.

It's like I'm stuck in a tunnel.  On both sides I see the same people, same environment, nothing has changed.

I am hanging on to the thread of the old certainties that I think are so dear to me, still suffering through the pain of emotions thrust upon me when I thought I had found real happiness.

Can we base our happiness on material relationships?  As I have sadly discovered, we cannot.  Happiness is found in our hearts, our lives alone.  I am a mortal who realizes that being mortal means that eventually I will lose all that I love by their death or my own.

Am I happy?  Define happiness.

Am I sad?  No.

Am I bored?  Ah ha!  Yes, I am bored.  I have not been pushing myself.  I have gotten into my comfort zone and curled up with a cup of hot tea and a nice warm down comforter reading yet another thrilling book.  As much as I enjoy this scenario, it does not stimulate me and being a typical ADHD person, I need stimulation.  I cannot live my life through the adventures of others on the written page.  I must create my own adventures which may seem dull to some but still they are my own.

So what am I going to do about this?  You guessed it.  I am getting off this 'puter, getting dressed, put on a fresh new face, jump in my little truck and head out to the highways and by ways to find some new adventure where ever it may be. 

More about this later.