As I walk along the path of my new life without the warm reassuring touch of his hand, I see shadows I never noticed before. Shadows around every corner. The shadows are the scars from wounds received years ago that were never properly administered to. In my haste to get on with my life after divorcing my husband I did not take the time to clean the old wounds and soothe them with salve. I merely wrapped gauze over them concealing the ugly raw sores.
Now all these years have past and I find I have not healed. Sadly I have hurt a good man because I had not taken the time needed to reflect and heal. I enjoyed time with Darrell and find myself wanting to be with him but I realize I cannot get into a relationship with him or any other man until I have dealt with the past. The fear of the past has infected the wound. Trying to move on and stop occasionally to put on a new bandage is just a cover up. I realize what I need to do is stop and embrace the sadness of old wounds that I have been holding on to so tightly.
Gene Knudson Huffman says this of his experience with pain, "I've never felt a pain that didn't bear a blessing". Sad, but oh so true. Through our journey through life we stumble and fall and get scraped up pretty badly. If we are diligent with our search we will find we have been blessed with a gift after the pain and fear and grief from our mishap. The gift comes in many forms, it may be a new knowledge of your inner strength, or a discovery of friendship or it may be a spiritual gift. Every life experience has a gift. Seek and ye shall find!
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