Tawanda!

Yesterday was an eventful day.  My daughter announced to me her intentions to move her two young daughters and herself in with me and I broke up completely with the man I had been seeing for the last eight months.  Both events occurred because a man assumed certain entitlements just because he's male.  As Simone de Beauvoir's puts it in her book THE SECOND SEX "How fortunate for men that their sovereign authority has been vested in them by the Supreme Being."

Yes, I am down on men today.  I love them but they certainly can be a pain in my dupa (that is ass in Russian).  My daughter's husband has taken it upon himself to harass and treat my daughter like a second class citizen because she has been a stay at home mother since the birth of their second child.  Notice I said since the birth of their second child.  This point he has conveniently forgotten.  At one time she had a job making enough to support herself with a 401 (k) and insurance benefits.  Together as man and wife it was decided she should quit her job to care for the children.  The 401 (k) was cashed in to pay off some outstanding debt so they could afford living on his salary alone.  He then treated her like she wasn't pulling her weight in their union because she was not contributing financially.  It wasn't enough that she was at the children and his beck and call 24/7.

Me, well mine is a different story.  In my first marriage I was the dutiful housewife and mother until the day I woke up.  My awakening seemed sudden at the time but actually it occurred over a span of approximately ten years.  During that time period I went from the obedient little wife who would endure any kind of humiliation to keep my husband happy to a feisty woman who took bull from no one.  It wasn't an easy journey.  You see, I was raised in the traditional American family in which the father was head of the household and no one dared speak against anything he said.  I am still evolving.  I guess that is why I could no longer be Darrell's companion.  Darrell is looking for the good little wife I used to be.  While with him, I could feel myself slip back into that roll.  He is looking for a woman who revolves around him like a planet revolves around the sun.  I am sure if he will continue to search he will find a woman to fill his needs.  However since ERA there are not nearly as many women who fit that description and most of them are going to church and taking care of their husband's many needs.  "Many needs" is the key words to describe Darrell. He wants a woman to serve him.  Darrell is a kind, fun and loving man but I serviced a man for 23 years and it just won't happen again. 

The truth as I see it is I will never marry again.  I am like Evelyn Couch in the movie FRIED GREEN TOMATOES.  For years I was the "Church Lady" who was prim and proper and wouldn't say "shit" if I had a mouth full.  Then I saw the light and even though I haven't rammed any one's car for taking my parking space, I still shout "Tawanda!" if crossed.  I'll do it my way or not at all.