So You Think You Got It Bad?

The following is a little ditty my father (Roger W. Reese) wrote Christmas 1996.  I hope you enjoy his humor.

Listen closely to this little rhyme
because you will hear it just one time.
The other night I could not sleep
so I made up this little ditty
which I thought was quite witty.

Then I told it to my wife
another mistake in my life.
She said, "Oh, what a pity
some of those words sound mmmmmmwell
Those words you will have to delete.
But I said, "It will not be complete."
That's when she hit me on the head
and I went right back to bed.

Ho! Ho! Ho! So you think you got it bad?
Let me tell you about this little lad.
This is a conversation I over heard
as he was talking to his reindeer herd.

Come on now quit your bitching
we have to finish this hitching.
Donner, I don't need to hear you complain.
You think yours is the only pain?
What is the matter with you Blitzin?
You know the elf has your shoe a fixin'
Come over here Cupid.
Don't act so stupid.
come let see that sty
I've got medicine for your eye.

Oh my head is so stuffy
and my eyes are all puffy
my nose is about to drip
and I got a sore on my lip
There's this pain in my hip
that makes me an old crip.

The missus gave me double ex-lax
I'm afraid to bend over for my packs.
I never got to sleep on the cot
for sittin' all night on the pot.

It's really not too bad.
When you think about the lad,
I mean the one who is boss.
They hung him on the cross.
So up! Up! and away
for this is His day!