Bucket List

I was talking to an old friend today who told me he wanted to visit 100 countries before he dies. He has already been to 65. His career was in the US Air Force so I'm thinking the US taxpayers paid for a lot of his sightseeing. Non the less I was impressed. Especially since I have only visited 3 countries and of the 3, one is the good old U.S. of A. I believe I read somewhere that there is 192 or 197 countries.

It made me start thinking ... what would I like to do before I die? Here are a few ideas.

1. Ride the Orient Express. (Always loved that movie about the murders on the Orient Express)
2. Allow my old heart to be marinated in the tender juices of a younger man. (Are you drooling yet?)
3. Run for office, win, and then resign in a grand gesture of moral indignation (before someone starts digging up some dirt on me)
4. Audition for a community play. I'll take the lead of course and Ida says she will be my partner in crime (whatever that may be)
5. Compete in a Mud Run for MS. (I'll be hitting everyone up shortly for donations)
6. Write my book and get published. Got to do this quickly if I want to get on Oprah.
7. Learn to say a few choice phrases in French to use while flirting.
8. Start a wild rumor about something outrageous that will happen. (oops, forgot, I already did that. The world is ending May 21, 2011 according to some crazy religious group called Rapture.)
9. Learn to belly dance for a lover's viewing pleasure.
10. Squeeze a cute fireman's behind on Public Hero Appreciation Day.
11. Fear is normal. Learn to conquer a fear a year.
12.Dress up like Mrs. Santa and give out presents to children at Christmas. I think my costume should be like Rosemary Clooney wore in the movie White Christmas.
13.Refuse to settle down. I successfully refused to grow up a few years back. It has gone well for me.
14. Read a waitress' palm and tell her she is destined for greatness. I once read palms at my granddaughters birthday party. Time to spread the news.
15. Learn to recognize at least one constellation year round.
16. Learn to meditate. I have tried several times but I just can't get my brain to slow down and stop that constant chattering.
17. Burn a CD with music I would like played at my funeral. Les' sister wants Bo Jangles played. Maybe something like Fat Bottom Women?
18. Drive a race car at the race tracks.
19. Write an autobiography about the life I didn't have. Goody Goody two shoes stuff is too boring. Fiction sells better.
20. Start a food fight.
21. Surround myself with girlfriends as often as possible, ooops I already do that. So I'll do it more.
22. Have a nude portrait done of myself. Better get that done pretty soon. Before the loose skin is so disgusting no one will do it for me.
23. Dance under the full moon naked. Any girlfriends want to join me for a May Day dance? No men allowed.
24. Explore my inner pagan by creating my own seasonal ritual.
25. Lead a protest or commit an act of civil disobedience.  That is a big one for Goody Goody Two shoes here.
26. Vote for someone only because I lust for him.  It's a shame Sean Connery is not an American citizen. 
27. Paint a mural of imagined past lives.  I always thought I should have been a Greek Goddess.
28. Go to New Orleans Mardi Gras and shock the family showing off my IBT. (itty bitty tiddies for those who couldn't guess.)
29. Escape "Somewhere in Time" to Mackinaw Island.
30. Create Daily. Use every ounce of talent God gave me.
31. Go to Liverpool England where the Beatles got their start to learn more about them and to feel their spirits.

Most of us go to our graves with our music still inside us. I am sure the priesthood would disagree with me but I think it is sinful to waste the talent God gave each and everyone of us. Fear of looking foolish and stupid has kept me from doing so many things. Time to stop worrying about how I look to other people. If truth be known, all those people that I have worried about their opinion have probably never realized I was in the same room with them. Therefore they cared less about what I was or wasn't doing.  It's not too late to do the impossible.