We met out in a field next to a large fire on Jan Rule's ancestral farm. Jan is refurbishing her great grandfathers home. What an amazing undertaking. The home was in wreck and ruin. She is keeping all the old country charm while updating the plumbing and heating. It appears she plans to set the home up to be used for wellness retreats. Jan is a yoga teacher and naturalist.
I am not sure what to think of the evening. It was my first experience with women who are focused on the good of the earth. These women did not appear to be practicing a certain pagan religion as I first thought. We prayed, but not to God or to a goddess. We prayed for peace and happiness and unity of the world. We prayed that there would come a day when we would all be as one. These women were selfless loving human beings that wanted nothing more than to wish love and kindness to all living things.
We sat around a large fire in gentle quiet meditation softly beating on our drums and throwing out prayers and wishes of wellness to all to the divine. Even the coyotes joined in. That was quite a surprise. From the west one animal started howling and then another and then another. Before long the howling could be heard for miles. It was spooky at first but then changed into a harmonious chorus of wild dogs singing along with the beating of our drums. A couple of women walked along the outer skirt of the circle and beat the drum up and down behind us. What a wonderful sensation. I could actually feel the vibration of the drum flowing through my body.
The evening was a blessing for me. I had had a bout of anxiety today resulting in my losing my lunch. Not fun. I have problems with hurting anyone. I need to stop thinking about how things are effecting me. It isn't all about me. It is what would be good for the world. Louise is simply a drop in the bucket. After all there are 8 billion little drops like me. So tonight I was calm and closed my eyes to forget all the tiny things that have been nagging at me. So what if I haven't done my taxes, there is still time. Yes, Darrell wants more of me than I am able to give him, but why worry about it. We have talked and it is no longer in my hands. He must deal with it or I will move on. Yes, I worry about my children's peace of mind. Tonight I wrote my concerns and intentions on a piece of paper and burned them in the fire. It is now in God's hands. I must concede to his strength and knowledge. Did I learn anything tonight? Yes, I learned that I love women. I realize it is difficult for men to understand us but we are the stronger sex and the one full of love. Remember? There is nothing stronger than love.
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